It’s official. I learned this month my old college fraternity was politely asked to leave campus due to “egregious violations of campus social policy.”
It was that…but more alcohol-y and less paddle-y
It’s a real shame. I am a strong advocate of getting young men involved and having them join an organization where they have to work together for success.
The military, a sports team or for us cowardly and unsportsmanlike types…a social fraternity.
In theory, you could say MBA-type things like: you learn leadership skills, conflict resolution skills, or the importance of community service in an environment of like-minded men who promote something bigger than themselves and fulfill their responsibilities and expectations. From the daily grind of cleaning pots and pans to learning patience to finer conflict resolution and leadership tactics.
Honestly, you learn how to —-
fuck off with the idiots
they make a living environment tolerable
navigate bureaucratic rules and checklists
learn enough about people’s feelings and friendships to avoid being labeled a weirdo
This also means you are in a Brotherhood has real positive transferable skills for later in life especially when you reach a stage in life with career, family and children. The parallels are striking when you stop and think.
~~~
Checkout Traderdads.com — For patches, shirts, trading desk accessories and more! New items drop every month! Click here to check it out!
~~~
1) Fuck the jerks
Your kids—like drunk 21-year-olds at a party—are a bunch of careless, self-absorbed people who often do stupid things without rhyme or reason. But you get used to it.
Leadership or parenting – You decide
2)Make a living environment tolerable
By “staying at home”, you learn to respect your property and take care of it… Seriously. Cleaning the house, mopping the floor, scrubbing pots and pans, keeping the fridge stocked or at least throwing out rotten stuff. Shoveling the snow. All the things you learn to do in college while living in a fraternity house come back when you have a 4 bedroom house in the suburbs with kids who need snacks every 8.5 minutes
Do the opposite
3) Navigate bureaucratic rules and checklists
Most Fraternities must pass a series of accreditations or benchmarks set by the academic administration to remain in good standing. And in other news, my kid’s mom sent me an email last week with events, dates, fundraisers, deadlines, and “volunteer” opportunities that was longer than this post!
I only appeared in 2 events scheduled for 15:00 on weekdays… limit was 3
4) Learn enough about people’s feelings and friendships to avoid being labeled a weirdo
Believe it or not, men aren’t always the best with emotions. But throw 40 of them in a house, with booze, girls, testosterone and no supervision——you’re going to see shit! But these high stressors are just the thing to practice social skills and coping techniques when people are being unreasonable or in need of cheering up. A critical lifeline and street skill when dealing with explosions in the toy aisle at Target or being picked last in gym class.
He bothers to try… that’s how we know he cares.
~~~~
To instill the positive skills mentioned without turning everything into a chore, we had a simple college saying for anyone who needs to step up— “Do what you think is right”.
He had the uncanny ability to make men stay largely in line, take responsibility, and mature enough to become a reasonably respectable person.
I take this mantra with me when dealing with my kids quite often. Both for myself and for what I ask of them.
Unfortunately the lads who got the boot this winter clearly didn’t do what they thought was right and now the organization is gone. Shame really. RIP
Interested in joining the Trader Dads Podcast in 2024? Send me an email! I would love to have subscribers sit down for a chat
Thoughts; Questions? comments;
I arrive! Maybe I’ll do a full post on the topic or as a Q&A
